What Story Do I Want To Tell?

In a week, a month, a year, 5 years, a decade, from now what story do I want to tell about this moment or the decision I am currently facing? Sometimes anxiety, discomfort, or dis-ease is so high, that I cannot see beyond this moment and alleviating discomfort. I have found over many years that one way to make choices that I am happier with, is to ask myself the question “looking back on this moment what story do I want to tell?’’.

This question projects us out of the current context and connects us with our future self. In that process we discover that the immediate relief or gratification we are tempted to choose, distracts us from our goals and priorities. For example, pressing the Snooze button doesn’t help our fitness goals. Agreeing to attend a fundraiser Tea because we want to support a friend, chews up a chunk of time I had allocated to studying. Watching that next episode may create stress tomorrow because I haven’t done the prep I needed to do. The list is endless. I am NOT suggesting we become robots that deny ourselves pleasure. I am suggesting that very often our default is to choose the familiar and the comfortable at the expense of other goals and personal needs or preferences.

Some of my friends thought because I enjoy theatre that I enjoy ALL theatre and I never had the heart to correct them and so I would find myself going to AMDRAM performances that I didn’t enjoy AT ALL. This was sometimes complicated by the production being a fundraiser for a specific cause. Once I realized that I am a steward of my time and time is very valuable, I found a way of being honest and so instead of sitting through a production I didn’t enjoy, I would sponsor a ticket for someone else who WANTED to go but couldn’t afford to. A win-win.

The idea of adventure was always exciting to me until it became a reality and my anxiety shot into the red zone. This is where “what story do I want to tell?” became invaluable. I used the question to firstly decide whether or not this experience is one I want to be able to put in my memory bank. Once that decision was made, I would figure out what would help me see the experience through or I would pull out.

Irrespective of the choice I am making the ‘’WHAT STORY DO I WANT TO TELL? “Question is extremely helpful. I am able to see beyond the murkiness of the current situation and focus on what is really important to me. This question helps people to get to the crux of the matter, for example Is X working towards leaving the relationship or finding a way to stay? Emotional overwhelm makes it difficult to find a way out of a difficult situation. Connecting to future self, priorities and purpose make it much easier to endure the discomfort in exchange for success and growth. The happiness of future self depends on the current self-making considered choices.

Last night we started watching a Netflix story we are really enjoying. Outside the weather is cold and wintry, it seems like perfect couch and series weather. However earlier this week I committed to 5 blogs a week. They week ahead is busy, if I do one today, I only have 4 to do in the week. Before I succumbed to choosing the comfortable choice, and curling upon the couch, I asked myself “At the end of the week what story do I want to tell? “That I kept to my word and produced what I had promised or do watch an episode or two and put extra stress on myself this week or do I not produce what I had promised and let myself and the designer down. I decided to write a blog and if there is still time watch an episode.

This question isn’t a one- size- fits- all- choices -perfectly tool. But it is one of the most helpful and can be applied in many contexts. Try it!

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Disclaimer:
The content provided in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any concerns regarding your mental or physical health, please consult a qualified healthcare provider.